Things are good right now. Practice has been settling a bit, which is nice. Had a really good one last week, where I just focused in and banged through it. Felt really nice. Then I had my first time off in 16 months, first holiday since October 2016, to Budapest, and took some time off practice to do, although me and my friend, who's a yoga teacher, did chat quite a bit about yoga! I feel very relaxed, and clear-headed, which I was struggling with before.
This weekend I did a shortened mysore practice. I had to leave early to go meet friends for a birthday walk in the East End, so just did sun sals and standing, and finishing (cut down for time). As it happened, I got caught up on Surya Namaskar B (and on where I was placing my hands in A, as I have short arms and struggle to do that) and ended up working on that with her for quite a while.
She also gave me some really good advice about not just hand placement (stepping back and bending knees) but how I looked like I was dumping into my front leg in B, when coming up from downward dog into Warrior 1. It's true, and as soon as she mentioned it I realised I was. I'm still massively struggling with my breath in B, and trying to extend it/take extra breaths isn't really helping. Sarah did sit me down and talk about how we beat ourselves up a lot in ashtanga practice, and to try just noticing stuff, acknowledging it and then moving on, and coming back to it another time. She has a lot of good advice!
In hopeful news, I have been asked to come for interview at the yoga teacher training course I want to do, which is great - they can either say yes, you're really strong, come on, no, reapply another time or come in for interview (the unknown quantity). I had a mini freak-out when the email came, having thought I was quite cool-headed about it until that point! I'll know after that (March 4) where I stand. It's only a 20 minute interview but they may want me to demonstrate some asana, so I have to be ready for that.
I am lucky, because I have multiple lovely yoga teachers standing behind me, both teachers and friends who want to help me the best they can, and I know that if I don't get on it it's only a matter of time before I transition - it'll just be a question of where else, or wait till next intake. I know I have some gaps in my application to explain, such as why I got so serious just last year, but I have the answers, and I'm ready. I am excited and scared in equal measure. We shall see what happens! In the interim I'm just thinking and reading and not stressing too much. That's ahimsa, surely.